A Special Community of Women

I belong to a number of different groups and I like to think of each of them as a little community. Some of the groups I belong to are small and organized for a particular purpose - for example my book discussion group meets every six weeks or so to share opinions on a current book. Some of my groups are part of larger communities - for example, my membership in my local hospital auxiliary connects me to other "auxilians" in my province and nationally. Some of the groups I belong to are traditional groups and ones to which my mother belonged, so in becoming a member of them I also feel connected to my mother and the past. The Catholic Women's League of Canada is just such a group.

It seems to have been a tradition in most Christian churches to have a women's group; in fact, before the women's movement of modern times church groups were the prime way in which women came together. Today women's church groups take different forms. The Anglican and United Church Women's groups are two I'm familiar with locally. Someone I'm sure will correct me if I am wrong but I think both of these groups are independently formed in the local church and are not connected to a national organization. In my church we have a group of women who form a local community of the Catholic Women's League but we are also part of a large national organization. The Catholic Women's League (CWL) currently has over 100 000 members; members of the local group are connected to the National group through a website, publications including a magazine, and through the personal contact of members. There are local groups that are formed into "diocesan" councils and then into provincial groups. This keeps the lines of communication open and thus, there is a kind of coherence throughout the League. One can be a CWL member in Alberta and find the same sort of group in Nova Scotia, adhering to the same values and goals.

I am most impressed with the group of women who form my local CWL community: they are definitely on the stairway to heaven for the good deeds they perform for their church. The group is constantly asked to put on receptions for various events and they do so cheerfully. In the wider community they contribute time, money and effort to the women's shelter, the young offenders centre, the special care homes, the VON's program for seniors and the schools. They are a "service" group but they are also a prayerful group who seek to grow spiritually, and time is set aside at meetings for prayer and reflection. In case this sounds dull I must add that in this particular group there is abundant fun and much laughter at get togethers. Each member is recognized for her talents, and the contributions of all, no matter how small or large, are generously applauded. They are a very special community of women and I'm proud to be a member.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

"The heart is a lonely hunter" is the title of a book and a great line. It makes one think of how each person searches in his or her own way for what will bring fulfillment and happiness. As I finished My Sister's Keeper I thought of this line. We are all a mix of emotions and we can't figure out what makes us all tick. I started the book out despising the mother and the lawyer, and giving up on the brother Jesse and, indeed the father Brian for his rather cowardly response. By the end of the book I found that my judgements were somewhat modified - the characters, like the issues can't be seen in black and white terms: the shades of gray are all there. It will be interesting to hear the responses of others to this book.

Reciprocity

Know what the meaning of "reciprocity' is? In Canada it's a weather related term in which Easterners 'stick it to' Westerners when they are having great weather and the Westerners are freezing; the reciprocity happens when the reverse is true and the Westerners are basking in sunshine whilst a giant blizzard is raging in the East.

Here is a picture taken on November 11th here in Nova Scotia, above average temperatures, and a beautiful day for walking a golf course wearing a sweater.

My husband sent a series of pictures to friends out West since they are having a stretch of particularly nasty below-normal temperatures and we've been enjoying their comments. Here's a sampling: " You should see the snow here. It looks more like Christmas than Christmas!" "Rub it in, eh?" And "Enjoy! Sometimes we get the good stuff and you guys get hammered."

Reciprocity!! You just know they will be having wonderful weather when we are snowed under and I'm sure they will let us know!

Some Further Reading Thoughts

Well, a couple more hundred pages along: one new character has been introduced - Julia, a court-appointed "guardian ad litem" whose responsibility it is is to see that a minor gets a fair trial and is not unduly influenced or coerced beforehand by his or her family. A new twist has developed: Julia was once in love with Campbell Alexander, the lawyer, and was jilted quite unexpectedly. It was a case of "poor girl from big Catholic family" (her) meets "rich boy from socially conscious yacht set"(him) and she believes that that is why she was dumped. It remains to be seen if that was the reason or if there is more to this. Also, Julia has a twin sister Isobel (Izzy) so we have some parallels (or potential parallels) developing with Anna and Kate.

At this point I still cannot find myself sympathetic to the mother: she is called "a martyr" by her own childless sister Zanne and that role does seem to fit her well - even though the author writes countless pages about what it means to be a mother (how one can walk over hot coals for one's child, etc. etc.). Brian calls himself "a coward" but he has made the move to take Anna to the fire station temporarily, so it seems he is able to stand up to his wife. Anna herself wavers back and forth with her decision to go to court to prevent the transplant of her kidney to save her sister's life. (It is interesting that a friend and I were just talking of a situation involving her adult son who is in the process of preparing to donate a kidney to his ailing wife. My friend does not want her son to do this. Kidney transplants are not to be taken lightly. Interesting. ) The brother Jesse is still trying to get noticed - as an arsonist! Since his father is a firefighter it's an ironic choice of criminal activity, but somewhat far-fetched I think.

So far, we have not heard directly from Kate herself. A better picture of her is developing and I am beginning to like her more as a person. In spite of the many interventions, she is still often in a great deal of pain. Does there come a point where she doesn't want to continue with these medical "cures"? At sixteen, she may be wondering if she has any control over the treatment of her body or if she must always do what her mother believes is right. How does she feel about the transplant? Does she feel that it is her right to have her sister donate a kidney? Does she take it for granted? How strong is the bond between the two sisters?

Stay tuned!

My Sister's Keeper

I'm about 100 pages into the book I'm currently reading for my book discussion group and with 300 more pages to go I'm going to write out a few thoughts about the story and characters and see if I change my mind later. The book is My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Blurbs on the book cover tell me it's about a current moral dilemma, that it is full of insight and so on. One interesting comment says it is a "tense, high-concept piece of women's fiction." Hmm? Chick lit? I don't usually enjoy books that are specific to one gender, but will reserve judgement on that aspect for now.

The story is about a teenage girl, Anna, who is literally keeping her older sister Kate alive. Kate has leukemia and Anna has been the one to give her transfusions, bone marrow, and other interventions. Anna's match to Kate was ensured before birth by her parents and a geneticist. Almost like Kazuo Ishiguro's clones in Never Let me Go Anna seemingly has one purpose in life - to give of herself physically to someone else. But as the story begins, Anna is in revolt and has hired a lawyer to get her body back prior to the demands of her parents that she give a kidney to Kate.

Each chapter of the book is told by a different person -so we have a melange of points of view - which makes for interest. So far we have met Anna, Jesse (a brother, the oldest sibling), Sara (the mother), Brian (the father) and Campbell Anderson (the lawyer). Kate has not "spoken" yet in her own words.

Now, for my opinions so far:
The mother: I can't stand her. Who in their right mind makes one child save another's life? Will the author be able to make any case for this mother as a loving individual? Does she not realize the terrible consequences of focusing on one sick child at the cost of "losing" two? Isn't there a time when it comes for letting go? Anna and Jesse: I am sympathetic. Amazingly, Anna is still torn with love for her mother and sister and wanting her own independence. The tension in the book is set up by her ambivalence. And the "lost" Jesse, the maverick oddball intent on getting himself killed or imprisoned, what does he want? Perhaps just attention? the need to feel wanted and worthwhile?Brian (the father) so far, sensible, steady and relatively fair. And yet, Sara doesn't make these family decisions on her own. So what does that say about him?
In the words of Anna they are "a mixed up family not saying what we ought to and not meaning what we do." Cameron Alexander (the lawyer): so far, I don't like him for some reason. Why is he always dissembling about his dog Judge? Why does he have a service dog? Is he blind? If so I must go back and re-read to see if that is clear. Why can't he give an up-front answer instead of his smart-ass quips as to why he has a service dog: "I'm nearsighted. The dog helps me read the road signs," or " I have SARS. he's tallying the people I infect." And, finally, Kate: her character, as revealed by the others (so far) - spoiled, self-centered, nasty and manipulative - altogether unlikeable; it is hard to feel sorry for her even though she is dying.

I wonder: how will things develop? Will I change my mind? More, in a week or so when I finish reading the book.